Lakshya Somani, Class X A
As Miriam rushed through the streets, filled with exhilaration, a genuine smile adorned her face, a rare moment, occurring as if after so many years. She picked up some roses at the florist’s and drove to her house. Diving out of the car she ran for the door, only to stop midway.
Why is the door open? Is someone else here?
She walked in, hoping to surprise him. She wanted every moment to be perfect, so that she could remember this day as a “good memory”, every time she is mired in her sorrow. But some things remain fantasies. He was nowhere to be seen. Had it been some other couple, it would have been just another mundane event. But not for them, no. This was unusual at the level 11 on 10. Out of all the things he could do, leaving the house was the last and most improbable one.
By now she was worried sick. She tried everything, his phone, his friends, everything. The man of her life had vanished. Hesitantly, she called 911 and reported him missing.
The cops came in for interrogation. She revealed that it was her husband, Azaan, who had gone missing. She told them he suffered from transient ischaemic attack, or mini stroke. Leaving him unable to walk properly or talk. She told them that her husband never left the house no matter what, that he was scared of the outside world. She was afraid something bad had happened to him. And with that last sentence, she broke down, “Officer, please find him, it is our anniversary today. I can’t lose him.”
The cops got on to their job, leaving Miriam with the videos of Azaan, that pacified her and gave her false hope that he would return soon.
With all the chaos, her thoughts rained down loud inside her brain. It felt almost as if the Lord was punishing her for ignoring him. But what could she do? To what extent could she remain calm? It was hard. It was hard to come from a 9 to 5 job only to see the love of your life struggling even for basic needs. All he could do was write, but words are not enough. She wished they were, that those I love you’s could fix everything. To sit, day in day out, with someone who cannot speak was hard. It was almost as if he was there but not there, like a ghost.
And being human, at times she would lash out at him. There were days she felt that she should let go, runaway from the prison that was holding her back. To pretend happiness in front of others was the toughest.
It is not that she didn’t love him, she really did. Why else would she be with him? Everyday was a dilemma for her, to decide whether her love for him was stronger or this burden of responsibilities.
“So far, I have always chosen him, and I am not going to let go. Just come back Azaan, I love you!”
A knock on the door, Miriam jumps up. A big relief to her heart and her brain, ‘Azaan is here!’ He is drenched in water, all flushed out, but he is smiling. She gives him a tight hug. She wraps him up in a towel and sets the fireplace. He hands her a letter.
Miriam, my love,
I know I haven’t been the man you wished for in your life. I know I am a big burden, but remember I love you no matter what. I know it is hard, impossible to handle me. But you have done that magnificently, and it would be a lie if I were to complain. But, my love, you were so focused on what could happen to me that you quite forgot what was happening to me.
I know you didn’t mean to, but eventually, you did lose hope. It was visible, even if you tried to hide it. I could see you were so tired from work and me, that I didn’t want to disturb you by letting out my desires.
Miriam, I know that it looked like I was afraid of the outer world, but the truth is, I was desperate to go out. To look at those beautiful phenomena of nature, to look at different people, was my one and only desire. I did not want to be a burden on you, so I repressed my dream for as long as I could.
I know I am your culprit for choosing this day to do this. The only day when you are actually happy and at peace. But my love, know that it took everything in me to take this bold step. I could not resist anymore, and so I set off on my wheel chair to explore on my own.
I don’t have words to describe what all I learnt today. This world felt so new to me as if I was a newborn butterfly coming out of its cocoon. The pleasant blow of the wind on your face, the noise of the streets, the smell of freshly brewed coffee in cafés. I hope you understand why I did what I did. I needed this for myself, even if it hurt you. And knowing me, you will understand that it was so hard for me to take this step knowing that it might hurt you.
Miriam, every single day I wish I could be the man you wanted. I wish I could protect you and not the other way around. I wish I was able to do all my tasks on my own without disturbing you. But most of all, I wish I was able to tell you how much I love you, and hold you forever and ever.
Miriam kneeled down, looked Azaan in the eyes, and remained silent. Every doubt in her mind, every single piece of frustration and annoyance had washed away. She did not utter a single word, but both of them now knew each other’s needs and were ready to start again. Till now, Miriam had been under a dark cloud of burden, but this incident had given way to the rays of happiness to illuminate her world. She no longer looked at Azaan as a responsibility, but together they explored the farthest ends of the world, living their life one day at a time.
