By Vinisha Shrimal, Class XII A
Dear diary,
Every day I put on a happy face
I smile I laugh
Pretend everything is okay
When really I’m crying inside.
To everybody who asks about me
I say, “I am fine. Thank you.”
But, every time I’ve said this
I didn’t mean it even once.
It seemed like no one noticed
Maybe they don’t need an answer
They just ask for the sake of asking.
I look at my childhood photographs
Smiling and crying.
My smile, was angelic.
I could imagine the laughter
Sometimes hear it too,
Even the cry, was not from heart.
But there was something, I realized
One thing in common
I cried coz I wanted something
A stupid kid wanted a stupid toy
A stupid girl wanted a stupid answer.
I’ve tried to live up the laughter
I’ve tried poetry, down to novels, songs
And alas, this diary.
However, I can’t find an answer
To what is wrong, when nothing is right.
I crushed papers, walked on stones
Sung rather screamed on top of my voice
Assuming everybody cares,
But everybody is too busy to care.
My mind, wanders through thoughts
Of who might I be.
Who is this girl in the mirror?
Who am I?
I feel alone in this big-big world
I wish there had been someone to listen to me
Who wouldn’t judge me.
As for people,
There’s nobody to be believed
So they believe lies,
Same I do- sometimes
I just don’t know how to make it right.
I shall pray to god,
But I m convinced no-one is listening.
Yet, there is something I achieved
No one knows of tears that flowed (now dried)
No one knows of things I’m holding back (the forever secrets)
No one knows I am tired….
I must believe
I am still happy as I am
“Yes, I am fine.”
